since i was 19 and disappointed and lost i've made lists/ lists/ with vows to change/ to become more/ to remember what i was/ to reach a dream
today do i list: small orange goldfish crushing underfoot, cigarette fumes, stale refrigerator air, rosebud stone, black tip reef shark, iron jaw chewing
do i list: lost books, stolen panties, fucking under the stairs with gym socks stuffed in her mother's bras/ the taste of varnish under my tongue
whole years spent eating t.v.